I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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