Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
