i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
