I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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