when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
A+ Viking dick
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