so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
