Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
