Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
