quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
