I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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