i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
