I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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