i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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