Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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