ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i out mim tonsoeep
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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