He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize