The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
