i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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