i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
