You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
