Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
