My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
