he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
