I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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