Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
