I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.