Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
