His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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