i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
