marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
