sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
