So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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