i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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