I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
