I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
