4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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