she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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