Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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