At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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