Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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