All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
