I skipped work to stalk him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
