Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
