The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
