After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
