Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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