he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
