dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
