Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
