I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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