i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Your penis caused this!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize