the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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