Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
