Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
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He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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