I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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