Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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