and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize