Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
