I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize