3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How drunk are you?
Completed.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
