I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
