If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think your dad took our porno
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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