I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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