I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize