Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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